a letter never sent
by xxCallMeAmyxx
Summary: Hermione pours her heart out in a letter to Viktor. But she just can't send it. For QL, set in fourth year.


_Dear Viktor,_

 _Maybe Ron is right. Maybe we shouldn't be together._

 _I don't know, we **are** from different schools, maybe it's just not meant to be?_

 _My best mate is fighting against you in **the** Triwizard Tournament. Who should I root for? I know you would say Harry and Cedric because they belong to my school and I should be loyal to it, but that's the problem with us being from different schools. If we are going to be a serious couple, I should support you, even if you don't go to my school or vice versa._

 _And there's another thing. If we **do** become a serious couple, how will people treat us? Will your parents accept us? Will the rest of the world accept that you picked someone from a different school; not even in the same country as you! It's one thing that I just met you recently, because we don't go to the same school, but for all I know, we might never have a chane like this again; to see each other. As long as we're both in school, we can hardly see each other, and I'm not sure if I want that. Not yet._

 _Viktor, I worry about this, I really do. I know I shouldn't worry about what people say, but I'm a human and just can't help it._

 _Plus, you're a famous Quidditch player, I'm just a little, British, Muggleborn girl. What will everyone think of me._

 _And I know what you're thinking. 'But Hermione, you are ze smartest witch of your age! Everyone vill love you.' And you're sweet for saying that but will they?_

 _How many couples that lasted are like us? From different schools, different blood statuses, different places._

 _It won't work Viktor. I don't know if I can visit you during the summer holidays. What if people really don't like me? What if your parents don't? Where will I stay when I'm looking for a different flight home?_

 _I really like you, Viktor, but I just don't know._

 _I feel like scream right not, this is so frustrating!_

 _Okay, I'll make a list here. When I need to decide something, my mum always says to make a pros and cons list._

 _Pros: I really like you, and if we can work I'll be with you. I need to be careless sometimes, have a relationship that might not be accepted is a way of doing that._

 _Cons: People may not accept us. Your **parents** might not like us. **My** parents might not want me to marry a wizard._

 _So see now, Viktor? The cons outweigh the pros. Maybe not by a lot, but they still do._

 _I know, all the cons are ifs, but they could happen. And I'm not sure if I want to take that chance. If I'm ready to._

 _I don't even know if I'm brave enough to send this letter._

 _And-this might be strange- but I think I fancy Ron as well._

 _I know, I'm supposed to only fancy my lover, but I really think I fancy both of you. At the Yule Ball, near the end, Ron said to me that you were using me. And then I started to feel really upset, more than I should've been, that he only asked me as a last resort and not first. I don't know why I did._

 _What if we are accepted by everyone and we get married and I see Ron happily married to someone else, Lavender Brown, let's say? What if I see him like that and start to fancy him again?_

 _What if he fancies me? Will I want him more?_

 _See Viktor? See why we can't, we just **can't** do this._

 _But still, at the same time I **want** to. Something's just pulling towards you. I don't know what and I sure don't know how to fight it._

 _Everyone thinks I know so much. All I know is what I read from books. That's not very much. I don't know friendship well, I don't know how to act with new people and I really don't know how to deal with life.  
_

 _You're my first romantic relationship. I don't have experience with this. I don't know what to do, it's all so crazy and new and I can't read this from a book._

 _Sorry that I'm crying onto the parchment now, but I can't help it._

 _Viktor, I love you. I actually, truly do. Because it **feels** like love. It **feels** like it's meant to be. But sometimes I wonder if this isn't real love. If this is a fling and I should be with someone else. Harry, for instance, or maybe even Ron._

 _I don't want to love him. That I can promise to you._

 _I don't want to love someone who's been one of my best mates for a while now. Someone who I always argue with._

 _I just can't see Ron and I working, and I want us to be together forever. But I still might love him. Somehow._

 _I'm not going to send this letter. But I mean everything on here. I just wish you somehow knew._

 _Love,_

 _Hermione_

* * *

 _ **A/N- for the Quidditch League. Prompts: Write a pairing with people from different schools, careless, no using the word 'forbidden', letter-fic**_

 _ **for the Quidditch Pitch. Prompt: forever**_


End file.
